Empathy is Learned, Tribalism is Instinctual - Which Will You Choose?

Before we had cities, governments, or even language as we know it, we had tribes. Small groups of humans relied on each other for food, shelter, and survival. The world was unpredictable and dangerous—strangers could mean competition, conflict, or death. So, we evolved to trust those closest to us and fear the unfamiliar.

Fast forward thousands of years, and we still carry these instincts. Tribalism is built into us. It explains why we form tight social circles, why we gravitate toward those who think like us, and why we’re quick to see outsiders as threats.

But here’s the problem: we no longer live in a world where tribalism serves us. What once kept us alive now holds us back.

Empathy is Not Instinctual - It's a Skill

Unlike tribalism, empathy is not automatic—it must be learned, practiced, and developed. Our brains are wired for fear and in-group loyalty, but they are also capable of incredible growth. Empathy is a higher-level function of the brain, requiring conscious thought and effort.

• Fear and division originate in the amygdala, the part of the brain that governs fight-or-flight responses¹. It reacts quickly, categorizing people as “friend or foe” based on the slightest cues.
• Empathy activates the medial prefrontal cortex (mPFC), the region responsible for moral reasoning and understanding different perspectives². Unlike the amygdala, this part of the brain requires intentional engagement—we have to choose to understand others rather than react to them.

This means that empathy isn’t just a feeling—it’s a choice. And like any skill, the more we practice it, the stronger it becomes.

Why Tribalism No Longer Works

For our ancestors, fearing the “other” made sense. Today, it divides us in ways that are toxic and destructive.

• In Politics: Tribalism tells us to demonize those who disagree with us. Empathy reminds us that most people, regardless of ideology, want safety, opportunity, and dignity.
• In Business: Tribalism fosters toxic workplaces and exclusionary hiring. Empathy builds diverse teams, innovation, and collaboration.
• In Society: Tribalism fuels racism, xenophobia, and economic inequality. Empathy creates stronger, more connected communities.

Tribalism keeps us in survival mode. Empathy allows us to thrive.

Empathy is Intelligence in Action

It’s easy to assume that the opposite of tribalism is weakness or passivity. But the truth is, empathy requires more strength, intelligence, and discipline than tribal loyalty ever did.

• Leaders who practice empathy outperform those who lead through fear. Studies show that organizations with emotionally intelligent leadership have higher employee engagement, retention, and productivity³.
• Empathetic societies are more prosperous. Countries with inclusive policies tend to have stronger economies and greater political stability⁴.
• Empathy makes us more adaptable. Unlike rigid, fear-based thinking, empathy allows us to navigate complex, unpredictable situations with clarity and insight.

Empathy isn't about being "nice." It's about being effective.

How to Override Tribal Thinking

Since tribalism is instinctual, overcoming it requires effort. But the good news is, we can train ourselves to think beyond it.

• Expose yourself to different perspectives. Read, watch, and listen to people outside your usual bubble.
• Recognize your biases. Tribal thinking happens fast—learn to slow it down and question it.
• Engage in real conversations. Talk to people with different backgrounds, experiences, and worldviews.
• Challenge fear-based thinking. Just because something feels threatening doesn’t mean it is.

Tribalism is easy—it requires no thought, no effort, and no reflection. But the cost is high: division, stagnation, and fear-based decision-making.

Empathy, on the other hand, is a choice—a decision to rise above our instincts and create a better world. It requires practice, effort, and the courage to challenge our fears instead of being controlled by them.

So, which will you choose? The safety of the tribe—or the intelligence of connection?

Endnotes

1.  LeDoux, J. (2015). Anxious: Using the Brain to Understand and Treat Fear and Anxiety.
2.  Decety, J., & Cowell, J. (2015). “The Neuroscience of Empathy: Progress, Pitfalls and Promise.” Nature Neuroscience.
3.  Harvard Business Review. (2021). “Why Empathy is the Most Important Leadership Skill.”
4.  World Economic Forum. (2023). “The Role of Empathy in Economic and Social Stability.”